These Video Game Checkpoints SUCK!

Now let's get something crystal clear, Sonic '06 is a game that was Satan's greatest gift to humanity as it is, without hyperbole one of the worst made video games ever and at least the second-worst Sonic title possibly being etched out by the absolute cursed Sonic R. It is an absolutely miserly maelstrom of terrible programming, atrocious voice acting, enough bugs to make a fumigator sweat, and of course the kiss that would launch a thousand yiffs, as the furry/sonic vendiagram finally overlapped.

It was in short, an Argos catalog where everything on offer was an unmitigated disaster, and yet, AND YET, it was so utterly broken that it almost demanded attention. It was like watching a clown car smash into a crate of wasps and then seeing all the different hive rocking harlequins scramble out before the motor explodes aka it was so utterly terrible that you couldn't look away, even though the wasps are now headed in your general direction.

This prompted many around the world to give this game a go, with the challenge being to actually see it through to completion without using the blunt disc to cut your own head off. However blocking the way for these masochists was a litany of crashes, texture clipping that would lead to instant death and of course enemies with hitboxes designed by Salvador Dali, all of which could require a restart in an instant.

The problem was however is that Sonic Team was clearly so rushed that they forgot to put in a simple feature that would have alleviated some of the stress, and shipped the title without an autosave! Oh, excellent! I love dying on a whim then being forced right back to the start! In what world is this acceptable? I can't believe I'm actually begging for a hand-holding checkpointing system but here it was an absolute must! Then again I'm sure Sonic Team were too busy to focus on gameplay when they had to get their tail butt-plugs measured to fit properly.