5. Beer Queue Chap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlrkxlWVzfU You may not have realised them at the time, but I guarantee you that if you've been anywhere near the bar at a music venue, you've stumbled across these most irritating of folk. These are the people who will buy a beer, rib each other until one of them buys the fancy-pants two-pinter, turn to face the stage and move into the crowd. And by "into the crowd", I obviously mean "barely three steps forward". Yes, these are the people, often groups of chaps who seem to have stumbled into a gig by accident, simply looking for an alcoholic beverage, but as luck would have it, have also found themselves being entertained musically. These fine gentlemen will then stand no further than three feet away from the bar at all times, and most likely talk through the entire show, loudly making student-y type jokes to each other in an accent which is somehow offensive to the locals in attendance. They can be unoffensive too, of course, however, that particular brand of Beer Queue Chap (or indeed chappette) will find a wholly different way to be annoying. This usually manifests itself in the form of a human road block. I challenge you to need the use of a venue toilet, knowing that you'll have to journey between the forests of Beer Queue lurkers who will most certainly be filling the stairs at the back of the theatre.