12 Things That Prove Taylor Swift Is In The Illuminati
5. Marching Bands
Theres just something unnerving about a lot of teenagers willingly playing . Im going balls-out-of-the-bath on this one: its because theyve all been brainwashed by the Illuminati. No normal teenager enjoys being part of a brass band as much as the nerds in the You Belong With Me video do. The instruments are kind of embarrassing to play (so much spittle everywhere) and cumbersome haul around, and the uniforms are cruel in the extreme. However, the Illuminati have bewitched these teens to enjoy marching around in circles while playing instruments like the tuba which, while apparently unthreatening at first glance, is actually exactly the same size and shape as a large sack of grenades which could be used to stage a coup detat of a high school sports stadium. This stadium could then serve as a barracks and launchpad for a broader attack on the mid-west to capture those all-important oil fields, cattle ranches, and long barren stretches of nothingness.