10 'Astounding' Science Facts That Aren't Very Astounding If You're A Pedant

Knowledge is power, don't abuse it just to sound clever.

We've used science to cure diseases, to send people to space and to the bottom of the oceans. But most importantly, we've used it to make our lives ridiculously simple. So simple, in fact, that most of us don't even need to understand science to benefit from it. A principle benefit people like to (ab)use seems to be bandying 'astonishing facts' around with reckless abandon, and then expecting onlookers to be impressed with their violent mediocrity. As they're technically right, they can't be witheringly corrected. If you go on the offensive anyway and tell them why their fact is as banal as the rest of their personality, suddenly you're being 'impolite'. Go figure. So, let's delve into some of the most pointless, beige, obvious, and vaguely correct 'astonishing' facts the internet can offer. We've got feeble facts from famous scientists. We've also got rubbish trivia from morons. Feel free to try and excuse the fact-giver because they're 'trying to engage the public' or 'the spirit of what they're saying is correct'. That's your prerogative. But for us, that's all irrelevant. What's important is we feel incredible about how smart we are. The bandying fools may not be correctable, but they can be made to feel bad.
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Nervously over-uses hyphens. Thinks semi-colons are artificial smarteners. Big fan of the full-stop.