11 Times "Health Guru" Celebrities Were Hilariously Wrong About Science

Christian Louboutin, the gallant Gaul who has dedicated his life to ensuring as many women as possible clop around in expensive torture devices, believes that he is actually doing the work of the lord of orgasms.

After a meeting with a French academic, Louboutin told The Times what he learnt about the effect of high heels on the female libido.

He says that this mysterious French academic told him that "what is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman’s foot when she orgasms. So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation."

Unfortunately, M. Louboutin seems to be confusing causality and effect here. Just because the foot is in the same position doesn't mean that heels cause orgasms, in the same way that drinking a glass of water doesn't get you drunk because it's the same motion you use to drink beer.

Heels might be sexy in the bedroom, but the only way they're going to improve your orgasms is if they have a vibrate function.