12 Haunting Slash Fictions That Will Ruin Your Childhood

12. Santa Gets Coal For Christmas

Imagine it's Christmas Eve: you hear a creak from downstairs and suddenly your pre-adolescent heart is pounding in excitement. Could it be? Have the stars finally aligned to give you a glimpse of the Great Bearded One? Quiet as a mouse, you tiptoe down the staircase and peak your head out from behind the bannister. There, gingerly placing gifts under a Christmas tree adorned with ornaments flickering in the dim candlelight, is Santa Claus. He's just like you imagined: big white beard, half-moon spectacles, cheeks as red as Rudolf's magic nose, and €“ wait, are those whip marks on the back of his neck? Those definitely look like whip marks. If you've ever wondered what sort of festive shenanigans that Mr. and Mrs. Claus get up to in the other 364 nights of the year, then FantasyMan021's "The Naughty List" will satisfy your (admittedly disturbed) query. It will also obliterate any remaining shred of optimism you had in mankind. In the span of a few pages, we find out that a) Santa makes regular excursions to "punish" particularly naughty young women, b) Mrs. Clause has NSA-level knowledge of the world's sexual activities and c) . If you have a strong constitution and have no problem letting your inner child wither away into cold oblivion, then by all means, give this a read. As Mrs. Clause herself puts it, "On the outside you're a fat jolly man. But under the big red suit it's quite the sizable North Pole, and other talents that will have any woman begging for more." This story is like a mechanical bull: some people can hang on longer than others, but the world will be spinning by the time you call it quits.