15 Signs You're In An Abusive Relationship With Your Cat
15. The Killer Stare
Picture the scene: its 8am on a Saturday morning, the sun is shining through the curtains, and in your head Morning Mood by Grieg is playing. Today is your day; today you will achieve things other people could only ever dream about: you will write a novel, run a marathon, compose a song less clichéd than bloody Morning Mood. All is good in the world. But then you open your eyes. Your cat is there, sitting on the bedside table, staring at you. He doesnt blink; he stares into your very soul. He sniffs slightly, disgusted at the hovel you call a bed and then stares some more. And more. And more, tearing your soul a apart. You stare back for a moment and then remember, Oh no, cats dont like being stared at, its threatening, so you look away. The cat however doesn't care for such frivolities and he continues to stare BECAUSE hes knows its threatening, all the while thinking of the ways it can kill you today. Its only at that moment you realise that you will not be writing a novel today, or running for your dreams, or anything else. No, today you will spend the day running after Sheddie Vedder and being cruelly rejected in the process. Just like every other day in fact.
Picture the scene: its 8am on a Saturday morning, the sun is shining through the curtains, and in your head Morning Mood by Grieg is playing. Today is your day; today you will achieve things other people could only ever dream about: you will write a novel, run a marathon, compose a song less clichéd than bloody Morning Mood. All is good in the world. But then you open your eyes. Your cat is there, sitting on the bedside table, staring at you. He doesnt blink; he stares into your very soul. He sniffs slightly, disgusted at the hovel you call a bed and then stares some more. And more. And more, tearing your soul a apart. You stare back for a moment and then remember, Oh no, cats dont like being stared at, its threatening, so you look away. The cat however doesn't care for such frivolities and he continues to stare BECAUSE hes knows its threatening, all the while thinking of the ways it can kill you today. Its only at that moment you realise that you will not be writing a novel today, or running for your dreams, or anything else. No, today you will spend the day running after Sheddie Vedder and being cruelly rejected in the process. Just like every other day in fact.