Christmas is a time to cherish our loved ones, indulge in excessive amounts of processed goods, and most importantly receive disappointing gifts in a perfunctory celebration of cheap fairy lights and plastic trees. My view of Christmas, albeit depressing and morose, is one shared by many of my friends, family and possibly people reading this; but we still refuse to cancel it. Having to endure this curse once a year disrupts families all around the globe, initiates mass frenzied shopping sprees equal to the final battle in The Lord Of The Rings, breaks thousands 0f children's hearts, and gives us the pleasure of freezing cold weather; but is still viewed upon as a celebration of joy and wonder. To make this worse; Christmas now exists primarily because of children; essentially creating positive memories which would not exist in the real world, feeding the holiday season with more and more garbage every year. But Christmas is not just one day, oh no. Spreading like festive tinsel covered disease, Christmas starts as early as Halloween these days, as people lose track of reality in a conflicting battle of ghouls and tiny Christmas elves. The two month prelude to Christmas gives people something to both look forward to, and fear, as snowmen foreshadow the inevitable shape we shall all slowly become. Christmas is unanimously loved and celebrated. But why? If you stop to ponder a moment and think about the day itself, there is actually very little to cherish about it, only a list of bad memories, overrated traditions and disappointments, of which I shall list in order of hatred. And hopefully this bile will help gather the masses to initiate an uprising to bring down this commercial imitation of a religious holiday. We will save you Jesus.
