5 Classic Christmas Traditions That Are Completely Over-Rated

5. Christmas Dinner

One of the most common traditions of Christmas is of course the toilet-bowl-destroying Christmas dinner. Generally loved and approached usually in the same manner, the Christmas dinner is one of the most overrated meals in human history. An array of dry gravy smothered foods, embellished in fancy condiments is merely a cross-dressing Sunday dinner, served in mammoth portions on a larger plate. Not to mention the genocide of countless innocent turkeys only to be desecrated and stuffed with foreign objects from the rear. Christmas is a dark time. Christmas puddings and mince pies are also an intolerable concoction of festive flavours that leave the mouth feeling violated and overwhelmed, only making Christmas that little bit more unbearable. If it was my decision I'd leave it all for Santa this year.I would much rather cover a pizza in tinsel and have myself a festive lonely meal that didn't contain inhumane amounts of calories and wouldn't make my genitals disappear until mid January. In addition to the Christmas feast - for some bizarre reason - we are forced to wear a cheap paper hat, and if this isn't degrading enough, have to pull a cracker to receive it, along with a poor joke about a chicken and a ruler that will no doubt be used to measure the level of depression you experience doing it. Let's be honest, a take-away would be a much more suitable alternative and would also come in a cheap cardboard box along with the other inane purchases bought by brainwashed Santa worshipping zombies. In fact, douse anything in alcohol and it would suffice for Christmas day. If only Christmas was that perfect.