10 Doctor Who Couples That Created Unrealistic Expectations About Relationships

3. The Doctor And River Song

Spoilers, sweetie! It's safe to say that the Doctor and River Song's relationship is as dysfunctional as they come and they're probably not a good couple to base your own romantic liaisons on owing to the simple fact that you're never 100% sure whether River's going to kiss the Doctor's face off or mercilessly blow his brains out. And no, the latter isn't a euphemism. Because, at one point, River really did want TV's favourite Time Lord dead. It wasn't entirely her fault, of course. In fact, there wasn't really anything she could've done about it at all, having been kidnapped shortly after her birth and conditioned as a psychopathic killing machine. Things happened, though, and there was stuff and shenanigans (beautiful word, shenanigans) until she eventually realised that she couldn't go through with the awful deed after all when she ended up falling head over heels in love with him. It must've been the bow tie. Oh, and then you throw into the mix that none of these events are happening in the right order, her parents are Amy and Rory and she's conveniently fully equipped with Time Lord tendencies having been conceived aboard the TARDIS. Is there no end to this madness?! Apparently not, and the ensuing drama dominated the proceedings throughout Series 6 to give viewers one humdinger of a timey-wimey trebulation. In summary, that impossible astronaut that rose from the deep on the plains of Lake Silencio? That was River. Only it wasn't the Doctor she shot. Only it was. Only it wasn't. You really had to be there. Still, they had some good times, too. It made matters slightly more confusing, of course, that every time River saw the Doctor, she knew him more and he knew her less. This culminated in one of the most heartbreaking scenes in Doctor Who history when she decided to sacrifice herself upon realising that the Doctor no longer knew who she was. It was all still to come for him, and us, of course, but in retrospect it would've been a lot easier for everybody if she'd just told him who she really was there and then. An unrealistic expectation because you can't really expect to maintain a long and happy relationship when both parties are living it up in different timezones. It was never going to end well, was it?