8 Ups & NO Downs From Star Trek: Lower Decks 5.2 - Shades Of Green

Forget pirate space races in hazardous nebulae! If you don't have a green thumb — or aren't simply green all over — there's nothing more dangerous than gardening. Or, rather, there's nothing more dangerous than the gardening robot. It might be "programmed to mow," but it'll "prune you" if you so much as tiptoe on the roses.

Lower Decks seems to have a knack for introducing brilliantly funny, murderous machines. We've already had AGIMUS, delightfully droll but oh-so-megalomaniacal. Then, of course, we were treated to the unintentionally witty Tyrannikillicus. The less said about Peanut Hamper the better! In Shades of Grey, 'Gardener Bot' wasn't really a killer, but for a moment there in its "jumble of commands," it sure thought it was.

How many side-splitting one-liners does this thing have? "Oh, f**k, I forgot to water them," was the bot's reaction to the gruesome sight of the 'dead' ensigns. "I have failed as a guard and a gardener," it continued. This writer really does not like gardening, but with this bot about, he might just go pick up the secateurs.

The ensigns weren't really dead, of course. They'd just been bitten by Targalus IX's "tie-dyed coma beetle". Been there, done that, got the "No money, no problems" t-shirt!