5. Emotional Damage & The Complexities of Partnership
Heres where things get complicated. Human (and apparently alien) relationships are infinitely intricate and entangled and the Doctors relationship with his wife River Song has to be about the most confusing of them all. These are two heavily emotionally damaged people, who have both somehow survived searing trauma and loss and are constantly dealing with the fallout. They are each guarded with their emotions, have a terrible time communicating and pick fights on a regular basis in order to avoid dealing with overwhelming feelings. Plus they almost always meet out of order of their respective time lines. Yet, I would argue, they still manage to make it work. Their relationship with each other is about as messy as it can possibly get, but they still keep trying. This to me, though its obviously been taken to an extreme, is actually a much more realistic depiction of a partner relationship than living happily ever after. Each of these two individuals is extremely independent and has their own separate life. And they should. True partnership doesnt mean immersing yourself so much in the other persons life that you lose your own identity. The healthiest thing about this relationship is that each person maintains their own interests and pursuits. In Angels Take Manhattan, Steven Moffat makes it crystal clear that the Doctor and River care very deeply for each other and treasure their time together. He also makes it clear that River is very happy when the Doctor asks her to travel with him, but also very practical. She knows theyll clash if they spend too much time together so she suggests a compromise yes Ill go with you but not all the time. This is a very mature thing to do. The Doctor Who production team are also quite careful to portray all kinds of partnerships gay, straight, bisexual, omnisexual, interracial, interspecies for that matter without fuss, simply accepting that sentient beings find all different kinds of ways to love and each is worthy of respect. I argued in my review of Angels Take Manhattan that theres nothing wrong with portraying complex adult relationships in a family show. Steven Moffat doesnt believe kids are stupid, they are surrounded by these dynamics from the day they are born and they are well aware of them. They arent going to learn anything from the Prince and Princess prancing off into the sunset. They need to see people dealing with damage, love, loss, heartbreak, connection and compromise because very soon theyll be walking that path themselves.