6. Michael Jackson
In a recent book titled Now On The Big Screen: The Unofficial and Unauthorized Guide to 'Doctor Who' At The Cinema we learned that Paramount Pictures was planning on bringing Doctor Who to the U.S. movie theaters in the late 1980s. Fresh off the success of Transformer, Michael Jackson was slotted as Paramount's number one pick to play the role of the Doctor. There's all kinds of obvious issues with the idea of Michael Jackson in the Tardis, where do you even begin. First of all, U.S. remakes have a tendency to cheapen their U.K. counterparts (see Skins or Coupling). The NBC show Community has shown us what an American Doctor Who might look like in the episode Conventions of Space and Time with the U.S. remake of their knock off "Inspector Spacetime." Besides, the issues with a U.S. version of the Doctor is the fact that Jackson would have simply ruined the Doctor for us all. I can't even begin to assume what Jackson's Doctor would have been like, but Jackson's odd personality and subpar acting ability would not have done the part justice. If the movie had actually come to fruition, I imagine it would be a part of Whovian canon fans would be pushing to the back of their minds in frantic, embarrassed fashion. Which brings us to Paramount's second choice...