Star Trek: The Original Series vs. The Next Generation

TNG: €œSamaritan Snare€

Star Trek: The Next Generation Crew TNG trips up in the second season in the episode titled €œSamaritan Snare.€ The crew of the USS Enterprise 1701D get hornswoggled by a bumbling group of space Cro-magnons. Captain Picard takes off to Space Station 515 to get his artificial heart upgraded. No sooner is his shuttle out of the bay the Enterprise receives a distress signal from the Pakled (the Cro-magnons). They manage to hustle Riker into sending Geordi by using a cunning liguistic trick: being thick. The interaction goes something like this: Riker: I€™m first officer William Riker of the USS Enterprise. We are responding to your distress signal. Pakled Commander: Uh-huh. Riker: What is your problem? Pakled Commander: We are far from home. Riker: Aren€™t we all. But you sent out a mayday. Pakled Commander: Uh-huh. Riker: Do you need help? Pakled Commander: We are Pakleds. Our ship is the Mondor. It is broken. We are far from home. We need help. ... Riker: What brings you so far from home? Pakled Commander: We look for things. Riker: What were you looking for? Pakled Commander: Things we need. Riker: Can you be more specific? Pakled Commander: Things that make us go. We need help. Riker: What is the nature of your mission? Pakled Commander: We look for things. Riker (to Geordi though loud enough for the Pakled to hear): Did you hear an echo? And so on... Suitably lulled into a sense of mental superiority, or more likely, convinced the Pakled are retarded, Geordi offers to beam over and fix their ship. Here€™s the kicker. Worf questions if it is necessary to send their CHIEF engineer over. Riker dismisses his admonitions. Worf then argues that they could simply send the information over to the Pakleds. Riker blows off Worf€™s concerns because, come on, they€™re stupid. They probably have their big velcro shoes on the wrong feet. Finally, Worf tries to reason with Riker and Geordi about the possible danger. There is so little known about the Pakled. Who knows what they could be capable of. Considering Riker was so receptive to Worf€™s other arguments, you can guess what happens, right? To make things worse, none of this would be a problem if Diana had been on the bridge instead of in the toilet. Unfortunately for the Betazoid, the previous evening was Taco Bell night. Diana could never resist retro-food night and as a result contracted a bad case of the Sloppy Tex Mex Squirts. She did manage to get to the bridge just after Geordi beamed over. And promptly lets Riker know that the Pakleds are up to something. All said and done, Geordi becomes a bargaining chip. The Pakled might not be terribly bright, but they do understand concepts of kidnapping and extortion. Here€™s the full initial interaction with the Pakled Commander: http://youtu.be/KeFoGo3N_4g So there you have it. Now the fun begins. Which crew needs fresh drool cups and continuing education hours from Star Fleet Academy? Leave your thoughts/comments/concerns in the comments section below.
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Aeryk is a delicate fondue of Viking and Cajun stock, with all the subtly, grace and refinement of a moonshine high colonic. He wiles away the late, late, late hours in orgies of sex and violence with the likes of "Sex With the Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut". His iTunes library is named Bad Mother F****r despite the fact it has The Bangles Greatest Hits. At night his dreams are of being a paid para-professional, part-time writer.