10 Dumbest Wrestling Props Ever
A pooper scooper never made the list - but WWE was never far off such stupidity...
Is there such a thing as a good wrestling prop?
Wine and margarita drinker Steve Austin smashing cans of beer effectively portrayed him as the everyman, and he wasn't out there drinking a lemon gose. He drank affordable lager because he wasn't stupid enough to make himself look better than the people he fought on behalf of.
Razor Ramon's toothpick was awesome. In addition to something that visually conveyed Razor's mocking disdain towards his opponents, it made him look as cool as f*ck. Put a toothpick in your mouth, and, on top of looking like a complete loser, because you couldn't pull it off, you'd be sh*t-scared of swallowing it and choking to death.
Leyla Hirsch's turnbuckle clamp is a good prop. Not great, not something that's really getting her over, sadly, but good, and well thought-out. A spare turnbuckle clamp is something that could logically be found under the ring, in the event of it breaking. A spare sawdust table wouldn't be logically found under the ring because it isn't a picnic. It's wrestling.
It is wrestling - that's what the second 'W' stands for - not that WWE feels like it half the bloody time, on the following evidence...
10. Johnny Knoxville's Cattle Prod
Ahead of their upcoming Anything Goes clash at WrestleMania 38, Sami Zayn feigned to electrocute himself in a bid to prove that he was just as "InZayn" as the Jackass star he had developed a conflict with.
He was bullsh*tting, obviously. His cowardice was the heat, Johnny Knoxville showing him up was the catharsis. Except there was no catharsis, because WWE can't even do physical comedy correctly.
Jackass is a clever dumb show. The punchlines are less easy to arrive at than you might think, but ultimately, the stunts are just elaborate ways of hurting people. It's easier to write than Seinfeld.
Think of a crazy golf course.
The cast wear daft golfing gear. They are each handed a putter. Steve-O squats and gapes his ar*ehole open with a flag sellotaped to his back. The punchline sees a golf ball hit either the vulnerable ankle bone for an eagle, the ball sac for a birdie, or the inside of the anus for a hole in one.
That took all of two minutes to dream up.
Instead, WWE had Knoxville "electrocute" Zayn with a "cattle prod" and played TNAElectrifiedCage.wav. Because they think you were dumb enough to believe it.
A golf gimmick actually has been done before. And it was as sh*tty as you'd expect...