10 Hardcore Japanese Wrestling Stipulations You Won't Believe Are Real

6. No Rope Electrified Barbed Wire Exploding Ring Time Bomb Death Match

Ow, our brains.

Ok, so sometimes the ring exploded. Of course it did. That's just a thing that sometimes happens in Japan.

In a time bomb match, there's a timer, when it reaches 5 minutes, the sirens starts going off.

Ow.

When the clock ticks down to 1 minute, we get a different siren, a prolonged piercing wail, a nightmarish portent of doom to come. On and on it goes, like the gates of Hell creaking open and all the bats are in the wind. When the timer hits zero, the ring blows up. Huge fireballs erupt from drums placed ringside and thats the end of the match.

Our brains hurt.

Oh, and the referee is wearing an alien silver hazmat suit.

This match features not only Terry Funk, who is middle-aged and crazy, but also Atsushi Onita, the man responsible for all of this, for all of the time that we've spent watching these matches. We respect him, but we also hope that the explosion takes him, because this is all too much.

Please. Please let's just make things simpler. Please.