10 Hardcore Japanese Wrestling Stipulations You Won't Believe Are Real

5. No Rope Electrified Barbed Wire Swimming Pool Dynamite Double Hell Death Match

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So, the ring is on an island in this gigantic pool of water - stay with us - and in addition to the electrified barbed wire surrounding half of the ring - stay with us - the water surrounding the ring was laced with explosives and if you fell in the water, the water exploded.

Don't panic. We're going to make it through this together. We promise.

If you're wondering 'exploding water, how does that work?', then you're already giving this more thought than literally anyone involved in this match did. This match genuinely reaches some grand peak of stupid, a mountainous groundswell of dumb that almost inspires admiration to stand in its drooling shadow. In that sentence, the word 'almost' is very, very important.

First thing to mention: there's nothing more badass than being driven to ringside in a dinghy while a cover of Wild Thing by The Troggs plays in the background.

Second, you'll notice that some of our usual suspects are in this match. Yes, that's Mr Pogo driving a long blade into the stomach of a human being and wiggling it around. Yes, that's Atsushi Onita having a long blade be driven into his stomach and wiggled around. If one or two or you recognise the big western fellow, yes, that's Mike Awesome, soon-to-be lynchpin of Philadelphia-Based U.S. hardcore promotion ECW.

There's no doubt that FMW alumni like him and Cactus Jack were more than happy to share their travel stories with their new paymasters, and sure enough, ECW featured its fair share of No Rope Barbed Wire Death Matches. There was nothing like this though, and while I'd like to think it's because saner minds prevailed, it's probably just because Paul Heyman couldn't afford a big enough pool.

We're dreading what comes next.