10 Strangest Things You Can Currently Buy On WWE Shop
Christmas is right around the corner, time to get that WWE waffle maker.
Christmas is right around the corner, and all rumours of its cancellation have been greatly exaggerated. Presents will still be purchased and exchanged; capitalism can never be stopped, after all.
Capitalism is something WWE does very well indeed, for better or for worse. The largest wrestling promotion (sorry, sports entertainment organisation) on the planet never met a branding opportunity it didn't like, and its official shop is full of products adorned with WWE logos and trademarks, shameless attempts to coax pennies and pounds out of the bank accounts of its loyal supporters.
Not all the merchandise is woeful, of course, but the success rate is not good. Occasionally there is an aesthetically-pleasing t-shirt or a piece of classic merchandise that appeals to older fans, but more often than not WWE's products look cheap and cost a lot, a pretty wretched combination in the world of shopping.
Most of it is bad, but the WWE shop is full of curious products that don't really make any sense. Why are these things available? Who is going to buy them? Who is going to shill out massive sums of money for weird items that have absolutely no redeeming qualities?
Never underestimate a hardcore WWE fan, but even those poor, unfortunate souls won't buy these things.
10. Snowman Ornaments
Who wouldn't want to decorate their Christmas tree with weirdly rotund versions of their favourite WWE superstars? Why bother with baubles and angels when your tree can be ornamented by something that vaguely resembles Braun Strowman? What chance does tinsel have in the face of a snow-version of The Fiend?
WWE's snowman ornaments are very, very hit or miss, a success ratio that almost entirely depends upon the gut of the superstar in question. The very nature of a snowman means rounded tummies and excess chub, while the nature of being a professional wrestler usually means trim physiques and preposterously low levels of body fat.
Put bluntly, men like Roman Reigns, Drew McIntyre and The Undertaker should never come in curvy snowman form. That same argument can't be made for Bray Wyatt and Heavy Machinery, but that doesn't make a Tucker Knight snowman ornament any less ridiculous. If people start decorating their festive trees with these monstrosities, then maybe Christmas should be cancelled after all these years.
Saying that, there is something about that Boneyard Undertaker snowman, I can't quite put my finger on it.