10 Times Wrestling Matches Got Weapons Wrong

8. FRYING PAN - Doomsday Cage Match, WCW Uncensored 1996

Triple H Randy Orton
WWE Network

Is WWE in 2020 as bad as the worst of WCW?

Yes.

Splattered fake toy spiders, fake eyeballs, a profound inability to get talent over: the parallels are terrifying, or hilarious, depending on your disposition. But WWE in 2020, for all its multifarious, systemic flaws, hasn't yet managed to put all of them into one f*cking stupid match.

So there was a cage with three levels in it, but only one that covered a ring, obviously, and Hogan wasn't going to bump on the mesh, so he didn't, necessitating an arthritic side-scrolling beat 'em up in which Ric Flair wasn't the Final Boss. A non-wrestler named after the Nazi plan to exterminate the global Jewish population was. WCW didn't know this, had to be told, and renamed him the Ultimate Solution. Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage fought eight heels that night. Eight meant they were tougher than if it were two. Four times as tough!

Anyway, near the end of the bullsh*t, the Booty Man arrived on the scene to help with a frying pan. A frying pan. Can't cook pasta sauce without as frying pan, chk chk.

Subliminal advertising, or the work of a bunch of insane carnies?

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!