10 Times Wrestling Matches Got Weapons Wrong

7. LOADED CUP - Johnny Gargano Vs. Tommaso Ciampa, NXT, April 8, 2020

Triple H Randy Orton
WWE

'One Final Beat' aimed for epic but slipped and literally fell on its own, severely masturbated d*ck.

The last chapter of the Johnny Gargano Vs. Tommaso Ciampa melodrama, it was a deeply portentous work that plunged the story and indeed the entire brand into the depths of parody. With breathing as heavy as Sunn O))) and a pacing just as glacial - that is an insult to Sunn O))), sorry, but it's apt - Gargano and Ciampa took this slog incredibly seriously to the point of perverse hilarity. It thought it had a soul. It thought, through the title alone, that it had heart, when in the reality from which NXT has long since divorced itself, it was a crudely-assembled, dark, miserable tick-box exercise of synthetic callbacks and pointless, gratuitous, tedious violence. It was as oppressive and as long as it was, so past its once great peak, unwanted.

It ended when Candice LeRae appeared to ask both men why they are so violent. She hated her husband now, she told Ciampa, echoing the thoughts of so many fans who really rather liked the super-working babyface of 2018. She kicked both in the balls, but Gargano was OK. This was a ruse - a deeply contrived and fortunate ruse - and it marked her heel turn.

"Loaded cup" is a ridiculous defensive weapon used ridiculously, but the criticisms of a plot hole weren't warranted, actually.

This thing was hardly going to end after 18 minutes, was it.

She was right to wait.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!