Want to know how to order a pizza using your phone? Dont bother asking another human being, or using Google, Jerry Lawler can take a couple minutes out of your free time and tell you during your favorite wrestling show! Multiple times this year, WWE has had their announcers explain Dominos pizza app. They have also shown us in detail how to use Tout, how to subscribe to the WWE Network, and perhaps most infamously, how to download their app...many times. Does the NFL stop the on-field action to tell us how to order a pizza? What does the handle on a toilet do WWE? Could you please tell us? On top of that, they also treat their paying customers like idiots by scolding them for paying full price for a pay-per-view. Sure, you COULD pay $55 every once in awhile when you want to see a particular show, but you SHOULD subscribe to their network every single month and pay $9.99 so you can also watch episodes of Legends House! If you don't, they clearly think you're dumb, and will proceed to mock you on-air. On numerous occasions, the announcers held up signs that had $9.99 on them. They just happened to have these on them? Before that, of course we got the obnoxious $9.99 plugs on every episode of Raw and SmackDown, as well as merchandise and a freaking song! Constantly annoying your fanbase is not going to endear them to you. If someone wants to make a monthly commitment, having Jerry Lawler holding up a cardboard sign isnt going to be the tipping point to change their mind.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
