10 Wrestlers That Knew They Were Saying Something Stupid As They Said It
6. Eli's Top-Lipped Cottonmouth
Eli Cottonwood hasn't ever been compared to Kurt Angle until this very moment, but he may as well have been the Olympic Gold Medallist working against Tazz at the Royal Rumble 2000, because he was just another victim of the wrestler development nightmare that was the original NXT.
Now imagine a monologue somehow even more laboured than the sentence above, and you have Eli Cottonwood's infamous promo about his moustache. Or it wasn't a moustache. Or...?
Taking part in the "Talk The Talk" challenge on the talent show, Cottonwood ("Rank: 6th", said his graphic, whatever that was worth that week), was hit with the word "moustache" before being given 10 seconds and a "Ready, Steady, Go!" from kicked cat and gleeful bully host Matt Striker. What followed is, even a decade later, still something to behold.
Like Ralph Wiggum's heart, the moment Cottonwood's brain broke could be pinpointed to the exact second he opened his offering with a question; "What is a moustache?". But there was more. So much more.
Freestyling and freewheeling (as his career did the same off a cliff), he continued; "It's a little bit a hair growing over the upper lip. I don't have one..."
He did.
He continued; ...nobody else here has one..."
They did.
He continued; "...but you know what, a moustache is for a real man, and for all these people here, I have the best moustache of them all, and just give me a couple more days and I'll have a nice..thick moustache..."
Never had a wrestler been so grateful to have the microphone yanked from his hand.