10 Wrestling Clichés You Can't Ignore
4. WWE Commentary
Defined as much by what they don't say as that which they do, WWE commentators are typically placed in a no-win situation based on the product they cover and ways they are forced to cover it.
Corey Graves was a beloved figure in the NXT booth before he became one of Vince McMahon's chief lieutenants at the desk in the vein of a John Bradshaw Layfield before him. Or at least that's how it feels when he's parroting the carefully curated nonsense and b*llocking one of his colleagues for something or other.
From a similar era in the black-and-gold brand's beloved history, Tom Phillips had found the compromise between Michael Cole-bot and pro wrestling announcer before SmackDown, Raw and whatever the f*ck is asked of him this week transformed him into a full version of the former. Adnan Virk already feels doomed.
We're over a decade on from Jim Ross being removed as a permanent voice at the booth, and it feels even longer. Don't expect move names if they get in the way of a mandated-catchphrase or two, and don't count on "storytelling" unless it's through the warped filter of McMahon himself. It's all about feuds "rolling on" or episodes "switching gear" and babyfaces having their "head on a swivel".
"Momentum" is worth more to the wrestlers than the belts (gasp! he said "belts") they fight for most of the time, despite it being a concept so f*cking abstract in WWE that the commentators can't even define that. It's one thing for the visuals to be illogical to interminable fault, but it's a shame to hear the audio go the same way.