By the time he faced returning The Rock at the Royal Rumble in January 2013, CM Punk had held the WWE Championship for 434 days, making him the longest reigning WWE Champion of the modern era (ie, the last quarter of a century), and giving him the 6th longest run of all time with that title. These may be kayfabe achievements, but theyre achievements nonetheless: in storyline terms, they just about allowed for the heel champions delusional megalomania. Everyone knew, of course, that The Rock would be beating Punk for the title at the Rumble that year. He was scheduled to face John Cena again at Wrestlemania, to deliver the Once In A Lifetime match for the second year running, and it had been decided that the main event bout needed the WWE Championship attached to it to make it special. The way in which Punk lost, however, was anti-climactic and reductive, making the champion look like a right nana. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17acum_royal-rumble-2013-cm-punk-vs-the-rock-wwe-championship-match_sport After interference from the Shield, Punk heelishly took advantage and won, retaining the title but the match was restarted due to those shenanigans, and after a renewed flurry of furious offence from a desperate Punk, The Rock was able to hit his spinebuster/Peoples Elbow combination for the pinfall. Nothing wrong with that, you might say plenty of stars have fallen to the Peoples Elbow, no matter how laughable the move. Well, thats true - but that was in the Attitude Era, when Mick Foleys sock could take a credible victory. Context is important here, too. The arrogant Punk might have been bested by the heroic Rock, but Phil Brooks carried Dwayne Johnson to a decent match. The Rock had turned up with suspiciously large, movie star muscles and completely inadequate physical conditioning. When it came time to get on the mic and demand that the match be restarted, it was clear that he was exhausted, taking the time to sell the Shields attack to try and recover his breath. Punk, a marathon-running cardio machine, was seemingly fresh as a daisy: dynamic, fired up and, in the storyline, with everything to lose whereas The Rocks offense was ragged to the point of laziness. How WWE expected Punk to take a spinebuster so weak it was more of a ribtickler, lie there for the twelve calendar months it took The Rock to set up the Peoples Elbow, be pinned off the worlds lamest elbow drop from a stumbling bundle of sweaty walnuts, and not look foolish... it's beyond me.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
