10 WWE Fastlane 2018 Impulse Reactions
5. Nothing Else Matters
Tom Phillips pontificated yet again on how long Carmella had held the Money In The Bank briefcase as the 'Princess Of Staten Island' made her way to the ring for a useless tag team scrap alongside Natalya versus Naomi and Becky Lynch. Unlike many holders of the mixed blessing briefcase, she was able to eek out a win here, but the victory was as hollow as the contest itself.
Becky Lynch gave her goggles to a young girl upon entering - mirroring Bret Hart as the beloved babyface she's genuinely become - but was sartorially undone by wretched new gear. More 'Dumpster' than 'Straight' Fire, this ensemble from the woefully mishandled Lynch was the biggest cry for help since Demolition Ax stopped gelling his hair in 1990. Carmella's snap-back went the same way as the steampunk specs, falling into the hands of the 'Irish Lass Kicker' as she entered. Becky was lucky not to trigger a game of Cena-At-One-Night-Stand game of catch when she hurled it into the crowd. Naomi almost stole the entire show with her green hair, but it didn't keep kayfabe. A wig removal hasn't been this disappointing since Dustin Rhodes lifted his blonde barnet for the first time in 1995.
It may seem glib to neglect the action between the ropes in place of entrance attire, but at least reviewing headgear involves looking up. Most people watching this were probably content to stare at their phones instead.