12 WWE SummerSlam 2019 Results Predictions

Whilst WWE's other 'Big Four' pay-per-views have been gradually losing their lustre in the face of interminable bloat, avarice-fuelled Saudi Arabian facsimiles or generally nonsense concepts (pre-show matches don't count?!), the company's hottest show of the summer has been quietly waging its own extinction rebellion.

Somewhat forgotten as SummerSlam constantly strives to 'regain its relevance' is the fact that, for the past five years, WWE's annual barbecue bash has been amongst their most consistently excellent. Though lacking the glamour of a WrestleMania or the gimmick of a Royal Rumble, the August tradition has evolved into a wrestling all-rounder. It simply lacks the context to be appreciated.

Leading WWE's sun-soaked protest is their own Greta Thunberg, Brock Lesnar (surely the most improbable comparison ever drawn). 'The Beast' has dominated the top end of SummerSlam since his 2012 return, and for the most part, he's brought his working boots. The Undertaker, Randy Orton and last year, Roman Reigns, have all featured in memorable moments across from Big Brock at the event over the past half decade. That he's likely to headline in Toronto is, against popular assumption, not necessarily a bad thing.

Whether he walks out with the Universal Championship or not is another matter. Unless time's circular, it seems a lock. The rest of the card? Not so much.

'There's only one Oney Lorcan' is a very cumbersome phrase, so for the reason of nominative misfortune, he sadly can't be elevated too high. That is to say, Gulak has this in the bag.

Prediction: An array of confectionaries, fast-food chains and broadband providers fill the bulk of the opener.