7 Stupidest Reasons WWE Refused To Push Superstars

Ass-backwards logic.

CM Punk's exceptionally large bottom

There are many reasons why a WWE superstar otherwise deserving of the sort of push that'd have Jurassic Park's Dr. Hammond aflutter with excitement might not receive one, and they pretty much all come down to spite or personal animosity.

A host of wrestlers arriving from rival organisations quickly found their prospects limited upon arrival, even if they'd previously been their territory's top draw. Dusty Rhodes was slapped in polka dots and lumbered with a useless albeit endearing manager. DDP went from smiling man of the people - someone whose popularity rose above the nWo malaise - to a grimacing stalker, beaten clean by a woman with no previous wrestling experience and made to look a complete chump. Wisely, Sting rejected the company's overtures until the point when his intact legacy simply could not be diminished - though WWE tried their hardest in his one and only WrestleMania match.

Success with a competitor is a petty reason to undermine your own talent, but it's not necessarily stupid. Not like, for example, holding the finest technical wrestler of his generation back because he doesn't eat steak.

And such acts of booking stupidity aren't as rare as you think. They're not even medium rare.

7. A Big Arse (CM Punk)

CM Punk's exceptionally large bottom

If only CM Punk hadn't had such a colossal arse, perhaps he would have headlined WrestleMania afterall. You can't fit an arse that size on a poster, can you? That's why WrestleMania IX's one-sheet just had Bret Hart's gigantic mug gurning from the side of a Las Vegas hotel, as though he was performing lounge hits or a magic act as the show's main attraction. And we all know how history remembers WrestleMania IX, don't we?

What's that? He doesn't have a colossal arse? No, he does: Triple H said so. That is, at least, according to Jim Ross, who detailed one episode of The Game and Punk's bitter backstage feud during an episode of his podcast last year.

The veteran announcer recalled "[Hunter] saying his ass was too big", and that he thought the Voice of the Voiceless was "too soft" to be a realistic main event star. Sure enough, despite having the favour of 'Mania 29 opponent The Undertaker, Punk missed top billing in New York, and dramatically flounced from the company just under a year later, latterly citing the doofus son-in-law amidst his grievances.

(A curious footnote - or bum note, if you will: after WWE began a defamation lawsuit against Punk on behalf of slighted doc Chris Amman, the company uploaded an utterly bizarre video of their former star's backside as evidence of his falsehoods. It's still on the website to this day, and absolutely worth a look - so long as you're alone, anyway.)

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.