8 Possible Fathers Of Maria Kanellis' (Storyline) Baby

5. Kurt Angle

Maria Kanellis Vince McMahon HRM Queen Elizabeth II
WWE Network

Even though he had a broken freakin' neck, Kurt Angle still managed to prosper as one of WWE's oddly large clutch of mad shaggers during his prime. Throughout his time with the company, the Olympian proved to be an almost Erotic (big 'E' - not Big E) lover, slapping his liplock on the likes of Stephanie McMahon and Sharmell.

His animal instincts were laid misappropriately bare during his pursuit of the latter, and we later learned that Jason Jordan was his illegitimate son through an illicit affair some 30 years ago, helping derail his career three decades on.

Kurt's retired now, and he hasn't been seen since his post-WrestleMania send-off, but hey, so what. Angle used his eponymous slam on Maria on an episode of Raw back in 2005; what's to say he didn't more amorously slam her at the expense of the cuckolded Mike Kanellis a few weeks back?

Probability: 600-1

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.