The (WWE) Fake News Awards
4. 'Determination' - Linda McMahon
Linda McMahon today finds herself on Donald Trump's cabinet as doyen of the Small Business Administration thanks in part to her phenomenal success growing her own mom-and-pop shop alongside husband Vince.
Apart from enormous financial donations to Trump's campaign that are totally normal and to be expected because, really, what's a few million between friends, her fantastic achievements in politics thus far effectively insisted upon her gaining a role in the world's most powerful team.
In 2010, she channeled $50million from her own WWE-inflated bank account into a Connecticut Senate campaign she lost by a barely-worth-mentioning 140,000+ votes. She tried again in 2012, this time adding a mere $15million to the pot which perhaps explained the 170,000 votes her opponent narrowly snuck in with.
What does all of this tell us? She's a winner, that's what. And she's a winner here too, rewarded for her determination as she rose up America's capitalist ladder with but a dream in her heart and an overflowing purse in her hand-luggage. Godspeed, Mrs McMahon.