The WWE WrestleMania 34 Awards!

2. The Greensboro Award For Sorest Arses: The Fans

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WWE

John Cena probably regretted his decision to attend WrestleMania 34 as a fan by the time the first three hours had elapsed. At least this way, Big Chair John got to experience just how interminable an experience sitting through such a bloody long show is for the audience, regardless of its quality. At one point he even went and had a match with The Undertaker just to break it up a bit. You know an event is possibly overrunning when they start showing highlights from yesterday.

Runner-up: Shane McMahon

Spare a thought for poor Shane O'Mac's digestive tract after all those blows to his dicky stomach. His bravery was commendable, but medically questionable.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.