How about I enter myself in the Royal Rumble match as entrance number one? I win the Royal Rumble match, I go on to WrestleMania I become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And I shove that championship up each and every one of your- youre not getting me in trouble. -The Big Show on Raw.
Okay, where to begin. All right, first off, I had to rewind the segment and listen to Show twice, and was still confused by what he meant. Now we know hes a bad businessman, as his mini-mall went under a few years ago, but was he really stupid enough to declare himself as the No. 1 entrant in the Rumble match? It's hard to tell, as he actually said the word entrance which also didnt make any sense. Second of all, Big Show is planning to shove his championship up all our butts? Not only would that take an unreasonably long amount of time, I mean, just the 15,000 in the arena alone would take days, but why would he want to hold onto a title thats been up that many butts? Third of all, The Big Bad Big Show is such a badass that hes too afraid to say the word ass on TV, because hes afraid hell get fined, so he stopped himself. At this point, its not just his in-ring work that makes people chant for his retirement, now its his promo skills too!
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
