More Kane here. It just has to be done. What WWE did on Raw was stupid. It was Ultimate Warrior in the mirror, Chucky challenging Rick Steiner, Jucy Bagwell on a forklift bad. Kane being horribly beaten, rolled into an ambulance, and moments later transforming into masked Kane, with the paramedics mysteriously disappearing, and red smoke appearing, was idiotic on every conceivable level of writing! This company is a complete failure right now at developing compelling storylines. They are failing to deliver new stars, and they are failing at getting people to care. At times, it seemed that Vince McMahon was self-aware, and knew that the gimmicks of the early 90s were ridiculous. The Bastion Boogers, the Goons, the Mounties. But at least none of them had stupid supernatural powers! A Mountie turned pro wrestler could conceivably exist. It would be uncomfortable and highly sweaty to compete in a police uniform, but it could be done. Kanes magic could not exist anywhere. Theres a certain level of disbelief to buy into the narrative of wrestling, but Vince and co. break the rules of their own world so often that its impossible to feel connected to much of anything. Why doesnt Kane use his smoke powers in a match? Or why dont other wrestler have powers too? Give Kevin Steen some laser eyes. Just CGI it in later. Let Sin Cara develop invisibility, and then he can pin his opponents without showing up. How about Ryback using the powers of The Secret, and pinning anyone just by the power of positive thinking? Ratings are awful, the show is stagnant, and Vinces solution is magic. This trick sucks. Time to kick out.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
