10 Insane Alternate Versions Of The X-Men You Won't Believe Exist

1. Wolverine, Lord Of The Vampires

What If... Wolverine Was Lord of The Vampires? is the greatest comic book ever produced. Or at least the one with the best title. And definitely one of the most insane because, c'mon, just look at that premise. That's not even like the Asgardian Wars one, where the story postulated on how an existing storyline could turn out.

There has never been any threat of Wolverine becoming Lord of the Vampires in the regular X-Men books, and yet somebody in the Marvel Bullpen was clearly thinking about it. And then writing a comic about it. Actually, Dracula did crop up as a character in the seventies X-Men title, but was stopped in his bloodsucking scheming by the magic of Dr Strange, who may or may not have cast a spell that smelt like garlic.

In this alternate reality, the elder vamp succeeded in turning Storm, who then sires all of her comrades, putting them under Drac's control. But he didn't count on Wolverine's healing factor, which releases him from the vampire's influence and allows him to chop his head off, because he got his immortal myths mixed up. Still, that precious healing factor isn't enough to cease Logan's bloodlust, so he goes around turning every metahuman in the Marvel Universe into a vampire too, so they can more easily hunt down all the tasty, tasty normals.

The US gets cut off from the rest of the world, Dr Strange gets killed by the Juggernaut, and his magical mantle gets passed onto the Punisher. Which means the Punisher wears that goofy red cloak over his badass skull outfit which looks... really stupid. With an uzi loaded with silver bullets and a holy water pistol, Dr Punisher takes the fight to Wolverine, who sees the error of his ways when an attack meant for him ends up beheading Kitty Pryde. Logan reads the spell that kills him and every vampire on Earth, whilst Frank Castle bleeds out on the floor next to him. Lovely.