1. The Time He Got High, Got Laid, And Wet Himself
Kevin Smith is a lot of things: filmmaker, podcaster, chronic pot smoker. What he is not is a good Batman writer. His initial toe-dip into Gotham City, Batman: Cacophony, was a mostly-fine story marred by some stupid, crass humour and pop culture references; it's with the follow-up, The Widening Gyre, that Smith ensured he should never, ever be allowed within a hundred miles of the Caped Crusader. At the start of the story, Poison Ivy synthesises a special kind of cannabis that she administers to Bats, causing him to chill out, listen to Phish and eat lots of junk food (actually it just makes him trip out). That's maybe the third most idiotic thing that happens over the course of the Widening Gyre, a story which also sees Bruce Wayne fall for Silver St Cloud - who gives Bruce the nickname "Deedee" because on the first night they spent together, "they hit double digits" - who obviously gets killed, but not before Bats slaps her around a bit because he thinks she might be a robot. Pretty stupid, right? Well, Smith was saving the worst for last. Because, in issue 6 of Widening Gyre, Batman reveals that during a pivotal scene from pre-abduction Frank Miller's classic Year One story, the Dark Knight got scared and wet himself. Super heroic. Much intimidation. Wow. The Widening Gyre, like All Star Batman & Robin, is not considered canon and has also yet to finish its run. There's no end in sight, and nobody seems all that fussed about it. Least of all the people who are(n't) publishing it.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
