Superhero comics were created by DC in the thirties, but they were perfected by Marvel in the sixties when the colourful characters' escapades outside of their costumes became just as important as all the BIFF, ZAP, POW stuff. Ever since Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created Marvel's First Family, the Fantastic Four, superpeople's relationships have become just as rich a source of drama and entertainment as crazy murderers in clown make-up. Or at least managed to beat the soap operas at their own game. There are times, though, where writers are clearly more comfortable with the action scenes than with dialogue. Moments when editors seemingly paired up heroes by flinging a couple of darts at some pages. Horrendous examples of "Mary Sues". For every Clark Kent and Lois Lane, there is a comic book duo that's not only not one for the ages, but probably shouldn't have happened in the first place, because it doesn't make a lick of sense. And that's saying a lot, being as it is a genre where we readily accept everything from Pym particles to Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew without a moment's hesitation. So with that in mind, prepare for some really crazy pairings throughout the history of comics.
10. Vision And Scarlet Witch
Who says a woman can't love a robot? Most people, save for a fringe of pervy engineers and obsessive fans of the anime series Chobits. And so too did most of the Marvel Universe when Scarlet Witch announced her romantic desires towards fellow Avenger Vision, an android originally created by fellow mechanical adversary Ultron to take down Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Thankfully, after installing McAfee or something, that didn't last long, and the Vision became a welcome part of the team. In fact some people made him feel very welcome, including one Wanda Maximoff who - being the daughter of Magneto and brother to speedy asshat Quicksilver - had understandably find herself wanting when it came to human men. Robots, though? Now you're talking! Although initially not accepted by their fellow Avengers, or the general public, Scarlet Witch and the Vision's torrid love affair turned into a life-long relationship. Which is pretty messed up because...he's an android. Can androids even fall in love? Did an eighties electro-pop song ever find the answer? Regardless, this is a frankly ridiculous relationship. If you needed any further proof than the fact that a woman feel for a hunk of metal that shouldn't have feelings and shares a colour scheme with Granny Smith apples, then how about the fact that Scarlet Witch had to use her reality-manipulating powers to create children for the pair? Y'know, because he's a robot, and he doesn't have...those parts? Surely that's some kind of sign.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
