6. Spider-Ham vs. AquaMandrill
Yeah yeah, so AquaMandrill has only so far appeared
in a short for DC Nation, but you have to admit, it's pretty funny. AquaMandrill does not clean floors when there's The Fish around to do it! Meanwhile, Spider-Ham started off as a wacky one-shot by Tom DeFalco and Mark Armstrong which then morphed into an entire series about Marvel characters turned into various mammals, birds, reptiles, etc. His alter-ego is Peter Porker (not to be confused with Plopper the Spider-Pig from
The Simpsons Movie).
Who Wins: I'm gonna have to give it to Peter Porker, the Spider-Ham. Some aspects of the Peter Porker storyline are pretty funny or punny, I should say. Goose Rider, Hobgobbler and Nagneto are inspired, and Upton Adam Stray is a cute wordplay on the name of the famous journalist Upton Sinclair. But it's like a kid who makes an adult laugh by blowing a raspberry. The kid then proceeds to blow a hundred raspberries - LOOK, LOOK, DO YOU SEE HOW FUNNY I AM? - until the adult's laughter has dissolved into inarticulate growls of annoyance. Spider-Ham was cute for awhile, but seriously, a Spider-Ham 2099? Ultimate Civil War Spider-Ham? And you know what? I like mandrills. They look like mangy dogs wearing dentures, and they sass their lewd n rouged behinds around like Vegas showgirls at the Ritz. Theyre the Honey Boo Boo Childs of the animal kingdom. But because AquaMandrill is the new kid on the block, this round goes to Spider-Ham... for now.