1. Spider-Man
The Origin: This is perhaps one of the most iconic Superhero origins out there. You all know it; youve all probably heard it a hundred times by now. A young Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive Spider and because comic book radiation isnt really like proper radiation (far from being highly cancerous as it is in our Earth, in comics it seems to act as a sort of miracle drug) he of course has his DNA altered for the better. The next day, Parker discovers that hes got Superpowers! Thats not the end of the origin of course; Parkers character comes from his uncles death, upon hearing him say the famous great power vs. great responsibility spiel. But his power comes pretty much directly from the Spider bite. If only it were this easy.
In Reality: Ive discussed the effects of radiation a couple of times in this article already. It aint pretty and if youre ever exposed to it and it doesnt leave you riddled with tumours, you can consider that fact pretty much about as close to a superpower as youre going to get. Itd have to have been some special sort of radiation to have caused a kids DNA to turn blue and red, and give him the power to stick to walls. When he awoke the next morning, I cant imagine hed have been getting out of bed at all, unless he was heading immediately to the nearest hospital to book himself in for chemotherapy. Basically, irradiated particles cause all manner of havoc on living cells from breaking their chemical bonds to causing them to multiply quicker than a family on Jeremy Kyle. More likely, the Spider in question would have been disintegrated by the ray it descended into to become irradiated, or at least have died immediately; meaning Peter would never have been bitten at all, and would probably have just gone home and jerked it. Even more likely though, is that thered be some sort of restriction on having lonely teenagers hanging around near radioactive beams in the first place. I mean there should be right? Surely someone could have had a safer idea for a field trip? Did Parker even have to get a form signed by Aunt May? I hope so.
So there you are; 8 most implausible superhero origins. There are plenty of superheroes out there, and by extension, plenty of implausible origins. Did we miss any ridiculous ones? Do let us in on it.