10 Excruciatingly Bad Films You Should Die Before You See

Written by the director of a 3D softcore porno, directed by a conman and starring its own investors, this creature feature has little enough going for it even before the ‘monster’ appears on screen. Described by Harry and Michael Medved as “a man-eating carpet from outer space”, our antagonist is just that – a carpet draped over several students, whose feet we can see at the bottom of the screen.

The opening sequence sets the tone: bad acting, bad lighting and bad cinematography topped off with mismatched stock-footage and stale narration. Director Art J. Nelson (who also plays the lead under the alias “Vic Savage”) either shot the picture without sound or lost the soundtrack in post-production; either way, he brought in a local newsreader to narrate the picture, leading to several scenes where conversations between characters are paraphrased in voice-over.

Any movie where a girl wears a bikini for a picnic in the woods isn’t aiming for High Art, but that doesn’t excuse the level of technical incompetence on display here. Along with all the visible ropes, wires and crewmembers, we’re also treated to the sight of the cameraman’s cigarette smoke drifting into shot following an onscreen death, making you wonder what Nelson actually did.