10 Films Hollywood Should Have Remade Instead Of Ben Hur

3. Cobra

cobra stallone
Warner Bros.

Even an inconsequential 80s cheesefest like Red Dawn got a big bucks remake, so the odds of getting a reboot of this Sylvester Stallone classic in front of the cameras shouldn’t prove too challenging.

The movie has all the cop clichés that audiences love: a monosyllabic hero with a pain in the ass boss, a bug eyed psycho killer and lots of action. In this troubled cosmos, we need more pictures with a black and white worldview where you can tell who’s evil just by looking at them.

A remake could also flesh out the motivations of The Night Slasher and his cohorts, who in Stallone’s version appear to want to change society by banging axes together in a warehouse. They talk about the “new world” they’re trying to create, but there’s precious little evidence that it’s anything other than a pipedream, unless the first step is to try and kill Brigitte Nielsen.

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Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'