4. We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
Most likely the weakest film on this list, but also probably the film that I watched the most as a kid. Im certain my dad absolutely hates this movie: not necessarily because its a bad movie, but because I had it playing on a loop in our house for the better part of 94 and 95. I cant possibly imagine how many times I watched this movie, but I know that I definitely sat through back-to-back viewings. Whats truly remarkable about the film is the fantastic cast. An eclectic mix of random famous people lend their voices to this film: including John Goodman, Jay Leno, Walter Cronkite, Martin Short, and, for some odd reason, Julia Child. Whats more shocking than the group of talent amassed for the project is the fact that its a G-rated movie. Re-watching this film several years ago I realized that its actually got some really weird and scary stuff going on. Unfortunately, I think that the allure of the film is influenced more by nostalgia than quality so if you missed out on this as a kid you might just want to let it lie. For those of you who dont remember the film, lets recap it. At the beginning of the film Captain Neweyes (Cronkite), who helms a flying time machine, captures several dinosaurs in the past and feeds them his magical cereal called Brain Gain. The cereal turns them from vicious monsters into friendly talking dinosaurs who he then takes into the future as part of his dream to fulfill childrens wishes to see real-live dinosaurs. However, Neweyes has an evil brother named Professor Screweyes (Kenneth Mars); the ringmaster of the
Eccentric Circus who literally has a large flat-head screw in place of one of his eyes. This is where the film gets dark: he imprisons the dinosaurs and forces them to be part of his circus act. Only he doesn't stop there, he reverts the dinosaurs to their primal, violent forms using Brain Drain: pills that reverse the effects of the Brain Gain cereal. Screweyes
Eccentric Circus is a horror show designed to frighten the audience, made all the more terrifying by the inclusion of the once pleasant but now feral dinosaurs. To cap it all off, in the climaxes final moments Professor Screweyes is devoured by crows, after which the only trace left of him is his single Screw-eye.