20 Ludicrous Ways To Die In A Horror Film

14. Hard Ticket To Hawaii (Andy Sidaris, 1987)

Hardticket Hard Ticket To Hawaii is the second feature length film from director Andy Sidaris, who is known for his totally sexy and absurd B-spy-action-adventure-horror soap operas. You can catch this flick in either of his 10 or 12 film box sets, which come highly recommended....if you are into absolute cheese, that is. This film tells the story of two sexy female CIA agents- working undercover as cargo plane pilots- who have been sent on a mission to a remote island, where they must stop an armed gang of thugs who are running a grow operation. As part of their cover, they are carrying a couple honeymooners and a load of cargo to the island- including a snake that has become toxic from eating rats used in cancer experiments. When they get to the island they start to scope things out. Feeling they'll need some back-up, they call for their two agent buddies (and love interests) to come and help them out. The snake meanwhile escapes, while the group of agents is preoccupied with the armed gang. Pretty much everything that happens in this film is completely ridiculous....especially the kills. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zxgxa1GJlnI To start, the one guy can't manage to hit a moving target with any sort of bullet oriented weapon....but he doesn't have any problem with a bazooka, which has become his weapon of choice. With it, he is able to repeatedly pick off targets with ease and precision...even effectively utilizing it for close quarter combat. But one scene in particular has become infamized in the annals of cinematic cheese. This is the scene where one of the male agents comes up with the plan to make a razor blade Frisbee in order to take out the gang member known as "Shades". Shades has a daily Frisbee session with a sexy local girl on the beach. The agent plans to show up and take the girl's place as Shades' Frisbee throwing partner. Once he's managed this, he covertly switches to the razorblade Frisbee and takes Shades out with a solid throw that goes right through his hand and into his neck! This wouldn't even qualify as a horror if it wasn't for the whole escaped toxic snake element, which comes back to round out the ending of the film. All in all, this is one of those films that is so ridiculously terrible, that it's become a classic.
 
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Contributor

I'm Josh. I was born and raised in the Niagara region. I'm an avid cinephile, dedicated archivist and pirate. I'm also an anarcho-punk fan that rides a bike, enjoys going on hikes, and really likes fruit....a sort of hippy-punk hybrid, if you will. I graduated from Brock University with an Honours degree in Political Science and an unofficial minor in Film. I enjoy writing learning, reading and writing about politics, film, and punk related issues. I hit shows in TO pretty often and look forward to checking out new films at TIFF every September.