14. Mortdecai
The Plot: Art dealer and "rogue" Lord Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) attempts to get himself out of deep water with, well, just about everyone, by recovering a lost painting which will reveal the location of a stash of lost Nazi gold. Why It Shouldn't Exist: Because it only drove Depp's stock down further with audiences (though he regained it slightly for his superb work on Black Mass), as he mugged his way through this blatant paycheck role which did absolutely nothing for him nor any of his co-stars (including Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor and Olivia Munn). Worse than being so obviously bad, the film's just incredibly boring: you likely won't remember it for long after viewing, and it's just as well for both your own sanity and the careers of those involved. There is no way anyone looked at this script and honestly felt like it was a worthy vehicle, but the allure of an easy payday for hanging out in the UK for a few weeks speaks for itself.
Jack Pooley
Contributor
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
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Jack