7 Movie Crises That Would Have Been Solved In Seconds by Batman

1. 127 Hours

The Situation: A man tries to leave a suffocating relationship with geology by cutting his arm off. Enter The Batman: If there's anything we know about Batman and how he's able to get out of a relationship, he basically goes through the steps as such. Woo the lady with the rich, haughty guise of Bruce Wayne. Bed the lady with the rich, haughty manhood of Bruce Wayne. Save the lady with the mysterious, brooding guise of Batman. Reveal himself to the lady that Batman actually doubles as lovemachine Bruce Wayne. Commit to the best roleplaying ever. Watch her get murdered by the Joker. So, all Batman has to do is sleep with the rock, show it his true identity, and wait for the Joker to do the rest. Problem solved, both arms intact. There are 7 movies that Batman would have made five minutes long. Anything you'd like to add? To let us know...
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Cameron Carpenter is an aspiring screenwriter, current film and journalism student, and self-diagnosed cinephile, which only sounds bad in certain circles. Devoted fan of comics, movies, theater, Jesus Christ, Sidney Lumet, and Peter O'Toole, he sometimes spends too much time on his Scribd and comicbookmovie.com, but doesn't think you're one to judge, devoted reader. You can follow him on Twitter to watch him talk to people you didn't know exist. Oh, and Daredevil is quite the big deal around here (my head).