Fifty Shades Of Grey: 10 Things That Make Absolutely No Sense Whatsoever

7. The Contract

Before the couple can engage in the full gamete of bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism, Christian needs to make sure that he can trust Ana not to go squealing out of the door, run straight to the nearest newspaper, and get the handprints on her bum plastered over tomorrow's front page. After all, the sex life of a mysterious and handsome man who runs a vague and powerful multinational would be big news. Thus, he draws up a contract. First getting her to sign a nondisclosure agreement, and then one to outline precisely what he is and isn't allowed to do to her behind closed doors. Some of it seems straightforward, but Ana spots some things on the list that she doesn't quite understand. After all, how is someone who studies English supposed to work out what a "butt plug" is? When Ana hesitates on signing the contract, Christian convinces her to give it a try regardless to see if she enjoys it. The trial run then consists of them having some champagne, her getting spanked twice, then Christian leaving for a business meeting. Whilst it's understandable for him not to break out the nipple clamps too soon, why would someone with so much to lose want to have his signature on something that directly links him to this stuff in the first place? Surely if one of his submissives ever did go public it would be much easier for him to simply deny it than rather than drag the finer points of their contract through the courts to prove they've breached it.