10 Astounding Tales Which Exemplify Dwarf Fortress' Insanity

6. Planepacked - One Statue, One Complete Record Of The Universe

A noted part of running any fortress is the fell moods which can strike workers at a moment's notice. Just about any useful worker can suddenly act out of some mad burst of inspiration, hijacking an entire workshop for themselves and demanding all sorts of items, desperate to complete some mad scheme they have envisioned. Failing to meet their requirements within a certain time period will often result in the dwarf's death as they go on a homicidal rampage or collapse out of starvation after refusing food or water in some morose state. Completing this task meanwhile will often yield treasures beyond imagining, from obsidian tables carved to masterpiece quality to clothing fit for a king. Sometimes, just sometimes, some workers manage to go a few steps further than this and produce something truly legendary. This was the case with Planepacked, a limestone statue which managed to become one of the single most valuable items ever to exist. Encrusted with everything from cave lobster shells and platinum layers to studded pig iron ornaments, this mad monument had the entire history of the world carved across its surface. From long lost conflicts to its very creation, its lengthy description recorded early conflicts between dwarven civilisations with goblins, random images of trees, and amazingly seventy-three smaller images of itself. Despite being largely made of mundane materials such as limestone and magnetite, Planepacked was valued at a grand total of 3,105,600˜, more than twice that of everything found in an average fortress. The glitch which caused the creation of this insane monument capable of making M C Escher weep with envy was thanks to a contradiction in behavioral programming. Any especially moody dwarf who laid claim to an outdoor workshop after being barred from walking about the surface would continually gather items for their pet project without truly recognising they had all they desired. This causes them to strip-mine indoor areas until they have taken every single shred of a resource they require, bulking up the size of their item a hundred fold. Even after being patched out with the removal of the "stay indoors" command, players have found whole new ways to build shields, tables and other items which resemble a Lovecraftian Where's Waldo map.