10 Gaming Moves That Are Simply Humiliating

Swords are disproportionately common in video games, to the extent that it's almost a basic expectation that a given spiky-haired hero will get his hands on a shiny blade of hope within the first few hours. The eponymous star of Fumito Ueda's masterpiece Ico is something of an unwilling spiky-haired - or in this case, spiky-horned - hero, but the hero nonetheless. So obviously, he gets a sword.

Only his is made of wood.

The lack of metal strapped to his sides is all the more galling when you consider Ico, unlike most sword-bearing protagonists who kill anything and everything for the heck of it, actually needs a substantial weapon. In the game's spiritual sequel, Shadow of the Colossus, you're joined by a horse called Agro; he's helpful. In Ico, your horse is a girl called Yorda, and she very much isn't. Something a bit more lethal than a ruddy stick would be more useful.

It is actually possible to get a much better sword than the 2x4 through a slight diversion, though it's perhaps even more embarrassing. If our pubescent protagonist wields the secret shiny sword whilst holding Yorda's hand, it'll grow dramatically in length. This might be an innuendo.