6. Final Fantasy 13
Final Fantasy lost me way back in 1999, and ever since then I've only dipped my foot in and out of the various worlds created by Square Enix. However, I lived with someone my first year of university who was completely obsessed with Square Enix and everything encapsulated in its web. So when he spent an outlandish amount of money on the special edition of Final Fantasy 13, I spent many a night drinking by his side watching him play through a game that even Mr. Square Enix couldn't stand. The whole game is just so inexorably boring... everything about 13 makes me want to fall asleep. I've spoken about 13 a few times explaining a game with a function that plays for you is like whiskey that drinks itself, it seems like a waste. Also, Christ the game is damn long, I know Final Fantasy titles are huge and it's no surprise that 13 goes well into the double digits, but nothing bloody happens; as far as I played anyway. I remember spending a lot of my time running slowly down endless hallways, listening to a high-pitched girl natter in my ear and speak to a black guy ripped straight out of the 1950s. Plus, like every FF, all the cool fighting happens in the cut scenes like 13 is ashamed I'd cock it up. "I've got it." He'd scorn. "Why don't you sit quietly in the corner why'll I have all the fun?" So you know what 13? I will leave you alone, forever and ever and ever until the Sun burns itself out and the Earth becomes a cold dead planet.