10 Signs You're Way Too Old To Be A Gamer

10. You Play Games On 'Normal'

To a gamer in his prime, the €œNormal€ difficulty level is akin to the way the unconventionally-abled bowl: with beanbag snakes in the alleys, and the ball at the top of a ramp pointed at the 1 pin that they merely have to prod with a cushioned stick. At your peak, you were far from normal€”you were exceptional€”and you had the mountain of beaten games, Gamerscore resembling a Kuwaiti prince€™s per diem, cupboard full of battered peripherals, and bowel-shaking online rep to prove it. Normal was for babies; for meek, pathetic tourists who began cringing in horror whenever a bloody indicator informed them they were being shot in the back of the head. And these days€”as hard as it is to accept€”that's you. Even games themselves keep telling you how badly you're acquitting yourself, taking the opportunity on every death screen to gently suggest that maybe, just maybe, given that you're making approximately three feet of forward progress per life, it's time to take it down a notch. Meekly, you acquiesce. Of course, you justify the demotion by telling yourself that it€™ll help you in the long run; that you€™re working your way back up through the minor leagues. But deep down, you know the truth. You no longer have any right to play on Hardcore. You€™re too old, you're too slow€”you're just too ... normal.