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10 Terrible Video Game Ports NOBODY Asked For

Any port in a storm... unless the port is on fire.

Activision

It's often said that just because you CAN do something, it doesn't mean you should.

Obviously, we know why developers and studios are so keen on ports. If a certain game does well on a particular system, the studio naturally wants a piece of that virtual pie for themselves and their platform.

The recent ports of Doom 2016 and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt on Switch are good examples of this.

Being aware of this rationale, however, does not excuse some of the absolute dirge inflicted upon gamers over the years, all in the name of making a few extra Republic Credits for their corporate overlords (who are probably lizards anyway, let's be honest).

So for every incredible port which the wizards over at Panic Button or Saber Interactive are able to pull out of the crafting bag, there are inevitably others which do not fare so well, to say the least, and are oftentimes games which nobody expected, nor even wanted in the first place.

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10. Street Fighter 2 - ZX Spectrum

Capcom

Okay, so we all love Street Fighter II; that is just a given at this point, and the arcade classic has, in its many and varied guises, appeared on a staggering variety of systems over the years.

Which is your favourite, Street Fighter II: The World Warrior on Super Nintendo?

That's a good one.

Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers on Sega Saturn?

Maybe.

How about the 1993 version for the ZX Spectrum?

I thought not.

Let's be honest, the fact that this port even exists in the first place implies that somebody, somewhere, was sacrificed upon an unholy alter of early nineties fighting games.

It just... defies all logic.

Showcasing a diabolically limited colour palette and running at a frame rate of around 3 frames per calendar month, the game was a slow, nauseating, headache-inducing nightmare to behold.

The sound design, too, was awful, with combat sounding more like somebody repeatedly slapping a badger with a soggy flannel than the more familiar punching, kicking, and YOGA FIRE's we're used to from the series.

Developed by UK based Tiertex Design Studios, the ZX Spectrum version of Street Fighter II is quite simply the worst thing to come out of Macclesfield since Peter Crouch.

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Jedi Knight, last son of Krypton, backwards-compatible gaming nerd, Dark Knight of Teesside...