1. Superman Superman NES
We all know that Superman is invincible. In fact, Im pretty sure theres a film doing the rounds now telling us exactly that. Hes impervious to bullets, punches like a steroid-infused kangaroo and flies like a particularly garish eagle. Yet if the legendary awful Superman for the Nintendo Entertainment System is to be believed, he is all sorts of screwed in the water. Really? The strongest, most impressive man on Earth cant traverse at least two-thirds of its surface? Well, thats a new one. Youre in such disbelief the first time you die in the drink, that you actually have to try again. Surely you couldnt have drowned youre Superman, for gods sake. Its part of your job description to be super, not water-soluble. Its such a game-breaking feat of pants-on-head ridiculousness that youre almost impressed that nobody in the designers room pointed it out. Im sure they had other, better 80s-flavoured things to do, like wearing platform shoes, asking where the beef was and causing fashion atrocities. Whatever these people got up to in this decade, apparently good game development wasnt part of it. Part of me is gutted the legacy of Superman NES hasnt lived on, evoking a new generation centred on a water-phobic Man of Tomorrow. Imagine if that had made it to the cinema that Man of Steel would have been drastically different. Witness the editing
Jor-El: Goodbye, my son. Our hopes and dreams travel with you.Lara: He will be an outcast. Theyll kill him.Jor-El: How? Hell be a god to them.Lara: Theyll probably dunk him in water, theres an awful lot of it over there.Jor-El: Bollocks. Come on now, dont pretend that wouldnt be good. Agree or disagree? Feel free to comment!